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Maude Paradis

visual artist


CHAD Anyway, why can't you use a computer, like a normal person?

HOPE I like to do longhand first.

She looks at him.

HOPE (CONT'D) Yeah no, no longhand from me, dufus. Anyway, what are you doing here, on Valentine's?

CHAD If I ever love anyone, we'll celebrate Tu B'Av, and not some stupid holiday about a Christian martyr and chocolate.

HOPE Fair enough. Hey, how many Christian holidays associate blood and chocolate? There's Easter, Christmas I guess, if you count the placenta. You want to look it up?

CHAD You never know when to stop, don't you? Always going the extra uncomfortable mile, where no one cares.

HOPE (Totally oblivious) Oh, that's why it's called Christmas! Christ-mess. Get it? Christ-MESS. Of course! A birth is messy.

CHAD Jesus fucking Christ!

HOPE You mean hermaphrodite self-love?

She starts laughing uncontrollably. 

Gaslighing in the 21st Century, screenplay

Tropical Leaves
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